From transport and dinner to the pressure of looking good and expectations around who pays, the cost of dating is raising questions about whether romance is becoming harder to afford.
Dating is often associated with getting to know someone, spending time together and discovering whether a connection has the potential to become something more.
But for many young adults, the decision to go on a date can involve more than choosing a restaurant or deciding what to wear. It can also mean checking their bank balance and working out whether they can afford the experience.
As conversations about modern relationships increasingly focus on the disconnect between men and women, financial pressure is another factor worth considering. The cost of living affects how people spend, socialise and plan for the future, and dating is not necessarily exempt from those pressures.
The question is whether some of the frustration surrounding modern dating is about relationships themselves or the financial demands that can come with pursuing them.
Is the juice worth the squeeze?
Dating requires time, emotional investment and, in many cases, money. For people trying to manage limited incomes, the prospect of spending money on someone they have only just met can feel like a significant gamble.
A first date may involve dinner, drinks, transport and personal grooming. These expenses can add up before two people have established whether they are compatible or interested in seeing each other again.
There are also expectations to navigate. Some women say they are tired of relationships in which they are expected to provide emotional support, guidance and reassurance without receiving the same level of care in return.
Some men, meanwhile, describe feeling pressured by expectations that they should pay for dates and take responsibility for providing financially.
These experiences are not universal, but they form part of the wider conversation about what people expect from relationships and whether those expectations feel manageable.
When dating is approached as a series of financial and emotional obligations, rather than an opportunity to get to know someone, it can become difficult to justify the investment.
What does a first date really cost?
The price of a date depends on the location, the activities involved and the financial circumstances of the people attending.
However, even a relatively ordinary dinner date can involve several separate expenses. Estimates outlined in a report by IOL illustrate how quickly the costs can accumulate in South Africa.
A casual restaurant meal for two may cost between E300 and E500, while transport can add approximately E200 to E700 depending on distance and the method of travel.
Personal grooming may increase the total further. The estimates cited in the report place some women’s spending on hair, nails and make-up at between E700 and E1,000, while men’s grooming expenses may range from E150 to E220.
These figures are examples rather than fixed costs, and not everyone spends money on all these items. People who prepare at home, share transport costs or choose a less expensive activity may spend considerably less.
Nevertheless, the estimates demonstrate how a date can become expensive when several costs are combined.
For someone earning a modest salary, the prospect of spending hundreds or thousands of rand on a single outing may be difficult to accommodate, particularly when rent, food, transport and other essentials already take up a substantial portion of their income.
The pressure can also affect how people approach paying. Some expect the person who initiated the date to cover the bill, while others prefer to split expenses. When these expectations are not discussed, money can become a source of discomfort before the relationship has had an opportunity to develop.
The role of unemployment
Financial pressure becomes even more significant for young adults who are unemployed or earning irregular incomes. Eswatini continues to face substantial youth unemployment, limiting the financial independence of many people trying to establish themselves as adults.
Without a reliable income, spending money on dating may be difficult to justify when basic needs remain a priority. For someone without a job, even paying for transport to meet a potential partner can require careful planning. Spending money on a date could mean having less available for groceries, airtime or other necessities.
This does not mean that people need to be financially established before they can pursue relationships. Rather, it highlights how unequal access to money can shape the opportunities people have to socialise and form connections.
Can romance work on a budget?
Dating does not have to involve expensive restaurants, elaborate outfits or activities that place pressure on either person’s finances.
A walk in a public park, a coffee date, a visit to a free community event or a simple meal prepared at home can provide opportunities to spend time together without incurring substantial costs. The choice depends on what both people feel comfortable with and what is accessible to them.
Open communication about money can also help. Discussing budgets and agreeing on an activity before meeting can prevent misunderstandings about who is expected to pay or how much either person should spend.
There is also value in questioning the assumption that an expensive date demonstrates serious intentions. The amount someone spends does not automatically reflect their character, generosity or capacity to maintain a healthy relationship.
At the same time, financial compatibility can be an important part of a relationship. People may have different incomes, spending habits and expectations, making honest conversations about money useful as a connection develops.
Is money changing the dating conversation?
The cost of dating is only one part of the wider discussion about modern relationships. Emotional availability, safety, compatibility and changing expectations also influence how people approach finding a partner.
However, financial circumstances can affect all of these experiences by determining how often someone can go out, where they can meet people and whether they feel comfortable participating in social activities.
Rather than viewing the growing frustrations between men and women solely as a gender conflict, it may be worth considering the economic pressures both face, even if those pressures affect them differently.
For young adults navigating unemployment, rising living costs and expectations about relationships, the challenge may not simply be finding the right person. It may also be finding ways to build a connection without placing their financial well-being at risk.
Ultimately, dating should provide an opportunity to discover whether two people are compatible, not leave either person struggling to cover essential expenses.
When money is tight, a more affordable approach may make it easier to focus on what matters: getting to know each other and deciding whether the connection is worth pursuing.
